07.10.2001 - It's Exactly The Same, Only Different

So things look a little different around here, yes? I'll explain later.

I was inexplicably tired at work today. I kind of wanted to use toothpicks to prop open my eyelids like they do in old timey cartoons, but ever since that incident with the anvil, I've stopped turning to cartoons for advice.

I trudged along anyway. It looked like it was going to be completely dead until about half past ten when three people came in. All three of them had been in yesterday and we had turned them away for not having a resume or being too late. They all came on time with the necessary paperwork, so we had to take them. I was glad. We needed something to keep us busy.

The first guy was an older Indian gentleman who either had trouble hearing me or understanding me. I had to speak at full volume to get him to even acknowledge my presence. The second notable thing about this fella is that he smelled like a combination of rotten onions and moldy jockstrap. This cat had obviously not bathed in quite some time. We put him in the application/testing room which he proceeded to funkify beyond control. Then, after he finished entering his information on the computer, I led him out to my desk. I told him to have a seat, but he just walked right on out the door. I didn't mind. It saved me the trouble of telling him that we couldn't hire him because of his bad hygiene.

The second person was a relatively attractive girl who was looking for office work. When she came out of the testing room, she looked a little distraught. I asked her if she was feeling okay, to which she replied, "I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you this, but I'm pregnant. I think I'm having some morning sickness."

I was shocked. Not because she was sick -- the smell in that room is enough to make anyone want to spew -- but because she was barely eightteen years old, pregnant and I had been having dirty thoughts about her. Shame on me.

The third guy was a young looking kid who came in yesterday. I asked him if he was eightteen then, and he said "yes." After taking a long, long time with the application and paperwork, I check his IDs and find out that he's still seventeen.

People under the age of eightteen can only do clerical work for us. He was barely qualified for warehouse work. He wasted my time and his time. I kicked him twice in the groin and threw him out.

Actually, I politely told him that we couldn't place him, but you get the picture.

I spent the rest of the day doing busy work and e-mailing people. It's loads of fun.

After work, I decided to go down to the thrift store to see if I could find any pants to replace the ones ruined by my washing machine. After spending about an hour there, I came out with one pair of pants. I'm afraid I may need to go to an actual store. Oh the horror.

Jackson and I were supposed to go catch a movie tonight, but when I got home I was feeling too sleepy. I didn't want to take another seven dollar nap, so I told him that I was just going to stay in for the night. I'm going to have a long day tomorrow, what with having to go to work early and being out late because of the Mike Doughty concert. I need to get some rest.

By the way, I still have nobody to go with me to the Doughty show. E-mail me if you want to go. I'll be checking my e-mail frequently tomorrow. I'd rather not go alone, as I might fall asleep in the car on the way back. Please help me out.

As I was wasting time at home, I started talking with some people about a possible layout change. I was thinking about doing a Red Meat or an Elvis Costello themed layout, but Jackson basically accused me of being unoriginal.

It's cool though. I wanted to have a picture of me somewhere on the layout. It's not because I'm narccisistic. I have this weird think where I think that there's an online Jeffy and a real life Jeffy. Having my picture attached to what I say here helps to eliminate the distinction.

I like the new layout about the same as the other one. What do you think? Leave me a note in my guestbook or e-mail me. I need attention.

Big day tomorrow. Think good driving thoughts for me.

-- Jeffy