01.26.2002 - Fun Things Happen In Bed

When Kevin dropped me off last night, I made a pledge to spend my entire Saturday in bed trying to rest away this chest cold. It was kind of like saying the Pledge of Allegiance, except I stated the Pledge of Bedrest with much more conviction and honesty than any heart to heart I've ever had with our flag. It's a lot easier for me to get behind something that involves me sleeping late and moving as little as possible than something that includes the phrase "one nation under God."

For the most part, I adhered to my pledge. I slept until half past noon, which is officially later than I've ever slept in my life. I stayed in bed for another hour or so enjoying the sixty or so channels of glorious cable I now have in my room as a result of my jerry-rigging the cable. Eventually, however, I had to get up, because wetting the bed is so last year.

Once I was up, I thought it would probably be a good idea to put something in my belly so I wouldn't have to get up a second time when it started growling later.

If there is a Nobel prize for laziness, I should certainly be in the running.

While in the kitchen waiting for my bread to toast, I took a peek at our message board and saw the entirety of its surface consumed by a note from Roomate Ihsan. Last night when I got home, there was a bucket full of syrup in the middle of the kitchen. Apparently Roommate Chris got drunk and tipped over an industrial sized bottle of Aunt Jemima and attempted to clean it up. I hadn't really given it much thought, as my exhaustion and achiness gave me nearly lustful thoughts for sleepy time. Apparently Chris missed some spots, and Ihsan left a note asking him if he planned on cleaning up the rest of the mess. Chris responded with a note that apparently called Jackson and I bitches for being mean to him, which Ihsan covered with an epistle explaining that he left the first note. Ihsan also said that he erased Chris' note to Jackson and I because he didn't want to make Chris seem like, if I remember correctly, "an unmitigated ass."

When I asked Ihsan about this, he informed me that Chris threw a temper tantrum and took all of his video equipment from downstairs up to his room. When I noticed that the DSL wasn't working in my room, I asked Ihsan if Chris may have sabotaged it. Ihsan said that Chris mentioned something about the computers downstairs not being able to use the DSL but that it was probably the result of a screw-up on his part. Chris conveniently disappeared for the rest of the day, so I was left to stew in bed about this for a good long while.

Sometime around four o'clock, I started to get restless, so I decided to give the DSL modem and router a look. Sure enough, Chris unplugged all the cables but his own. He's lucky he wasn't there, because I would have gotten so worked up scrappin' and yellin' that enough phlegm would be loosened from my chest to completely cover him with one power loogie. Instead, I plugged everyone back in, went downstairs and ran through arguments in my head.

After Jackson got home from working on web related business on campus, we had a discussion about our current roommate situation and what we planned on doing about it now and for next year. I had just planned on staying here next year because I seemed to be okay with these people, the rent's cheap enough and moving blows. Within the course of a day, I changed my mind however.

After we talked about serious issues, however, I thoroughly encouraged Jackson to go meet up with some of his groupies that invited him to hang out in a hotel room they had for the evening. He was content to sit at home and mope all night, but after offering to break my bed pledge and go with him as support, he finaly agreed to go.

Before we left, however, Chris came home with two friends who went directly to his room, sparked some Ganj and unplugged our cables again. Livid, Jackson and I discussed our best course of action. We didn't want to embarass Chris in front of his friends, but we didn't want to put up with this shit either, so we decided to just tell him to plug our cables back in tonight and have a proper discussion later.

Things didn't work like that, however, and we ended up having the discussion there. He explained that because he paid for the cable modem, he wasn't going to allow us to use it, and by the same logic, he took his VCR and DVD player upstairs. He felt that everyone was being unnecessarily possessive of their belongings and of course his way to retaliate against this was to take all of his things upstairs for himself. I told him that I could play the same game and take my TV out of the living room too, but I don't want to live like that. He went on to explain that he felt we were ganging up on him by leaving notes on the board telling him to clean up messes that aren't his. I explained that the notes I left were general save for one specific case in which he said he would clean up our sunroom and didn't. The rest of the notes attacked the mess and not him.

Finally, he admitted to being childish but I'm not sure he would admit to being so illogical. We got him to plug our cables back into the router before we left, but his actions in this whole situation lead me to believe that the kid has finally smoked himself retarded.

Hopefully we can actually have dialogue rather than nasty pointed notes and removal of shared belongings now. Perhaps that's asking too much.

After the showdown, Jackson and I headed to Sactown to meet up with the ladies. Surprisingly, they were all of legal voting age this time. What a shock!

Even though they are all eighteen, two of them are still in high school and for the most part acted the part. Still, they were a suitable diversion for a Saturday night I would have otherwise spent at home in bed hacking up flourescent mucous.

Instead, I got to spend it in bed at a hotel watching The Princess Diaries with three young ladies and Jackson.

And "watching The Princess Diaries" is unfortunately not a euphemism.

After the movie ended, Jackson and I hopped in the car and drove back to Davis where, being old farts, we jumped directly into bed. Go us.

I love my bed, but I think we need to give each other some space so we can get a full appreciation of our love for each other. I'd like to feel better soon so I can give that a try. Until then, you'll probably find me curled up with my down comforter until about the crack of noon.

My bed and I are open to threesomes if anyone is interested.

-- Jeffy