03.12.2002 -> 03.15.2002 - Missing Fortune Cookie

I'm living the sweet and sour life right now. Good things are coming in rapid succession with bad and I can't tell whether I should be outside in the sunshine loving the world or curled up in the fetal position in the corner of my blacked out room. I'm sure that soon enough I'll get confused and end up in a ball on a street corner with people trying to pry the thumb from my mouth.

On Tuesday, I put on my most professional looking shirt and tie, ditching the normal slovenly bastard garb, in order to look good for the regional manager coming to help me out and train me for the day. The office buzzed with an abnormally high number of applicants, which I thought to be nice in that it kept me busy all day and it made my position seem necessary in front of the manager. Things seemed sketchy when she stayed in my boss' office all day and didn't help me out or train me at all. As I entered employee information into our database, I noticed that on the program's completed task list, the manager had changed the length of my assignment to end at the end of this month. Because she left before I noticed this, I couldn't ask her about it and as such, I was left to worry about my employment future.

I forgot about it for the most part on Wednesday, as I had a fair amount of distractions. After working for four hours in the morning, I headed straight to campus where I took my first final and my last class of the quarter. Reasonably happy from doing reasonably well on my final and having one less thing to think about, I came home and did the cabbage patch until I talked to Katie. She decided to grace me with her presence, and my happiness knob was turned one degree higher.

We sat in my bed and played Uno. Unfortunately, this is not a euphemism.

After a few hours of cards and talking, I decided it was too early for us to reisgn ourselves to staying at home on an otherwise good evening. We hopped in her car and headed to Sacramento to see Amelie, which I thought was a good idea because it's impossible not to feel giddy about everyone and everything after seeing that movie. Thankfully, she liked it. Were it not for some scary frat guy lurking around my apartment when she, like a true gentleman, walked me to my door, the evening would have been perfect. I'm currently looking for this frat guy so I can lodge my foot directly in his ass. If you see him, and he doesn't have an Adidas logo impressioned on his kiester already, send him my way.

The new office supervisor's first day was Thursday, and because of this, I wanted to get to work early so I could get everything ready for her. I showed up at work at seven o'clock and nearly had everything prepared before she walked in and I awkwardly showed her around the office. She's got an incredible amount of knowledge about the industry and running an office, so it's definitely good that the company hired her for this branch. Although the office had been too busy to handle all week, today was completely dead. The only people that came through the door were four people who only spoke Spanish. This made our claims of having a newly busy office seem unreasonable, and I winced every time she spoke with regional management on the phone and bragged about how slow it was in the office. Just before I left for the day, I decided to sit down with my boss and see what's going on. I explained to him that the manager had changed the length of my assignment and he seemed genuinely oblivious to the situation. He promised me he'd call his higher ups and call me back on my cell phone as soon as he found out more information. Melancholy, I parked myself on the bed, the phone next to my head and waited. Eight o'clock rolled around and I passed the hell out until morning.

I walked into my office and hoped to get down to business with my boss. Instead, I was greeted by another branch manager and the new office supervisor immediately ceasing their conversation as soon as I crossed the threshold. The other branch manager was in the office all day to mentor my boss. As such, he was tied up all day and not able to talk to me. I suffered through another uncharacteristically slow day before my boss motioned for me to come into his office at around four thirty and closed the door. Looking dejected, he said, "you probably know what this is about already," and I nodded. Both visibly upset by our helplessness in the situation, we tossed the word "fuck" around much more than should ever be done in a professional setting. Whereas I thought I'd be okay until the end of the month, he told me that managment only authorized him to give me until next Friday until I my job would be done.

Although this totally sucks for me, I completely understand the reasoning behind it. The new office supervisor is more expensive than any other in the region and my position is kind of redundant. They can't waste the time or money necessary to train me properly, and even if they could, it doesn't look like there's enough work to warrant my continued employment. My boss went to bat for me, but because he holds relatively little power because of his lack of seniority and experience in the company, his attempts to save me failed. He assured me that he would try his damnedest to find me something. He also told me that he'd float me a few hundred dollars personally if I needed it. While this is all great and makes me feel good about my boss, I'm still completely screwed, all without the benefit of an orgasm.

At a party and a show that Mr. Bestfriendinthewholewideworld and Rodney played at, all I did was try to iron out my life for the next ten weeks. In preperation for the loss of my job, I applied for a few opportunities. The possibility of finding something that will suit my pay and schedule needs is looking roughly as slim as the possibilty of Stone Cold Steve Austin nabbing a Nobel Peace prize. I'm hoping things work out.

Just before I left work, my boss gave me the ol' "when one door closes, another one opens" jive. If you know where I can find that open door, let me know.

-- Jeffy