03.17.2002 -> 03.21.2002 - She's My Soft-touch Typewriter and I'm A Great Dictator

Rather than drinking the traditional green beer and projectile vomiting corned beef and cabbage on anyone within a fifty foot radius, I celebrated Saint Patrick's Day by spending most of it slothing around the apartment in my bleach stained Jameson Irish Whiskey shirt and underpants. If that ain't festive, I don't know what is.

While I should have been doing something constructive like finding my soon to be po' ass a job so every day wouldn't be like this, a tough week and the dopey grin washed across my face from Saturday Night pretty much immobilized me for the day. I only remember getting up twice: once to peruse the going out of business sale at the local vinyl shop and once to answer a phone call from The Moms. The former was much more enjoyable than the latter, if only because I got some sick satisfaction from showing considerable self restraint by not wasting money on Elvis Costello and The Police records. It also didn't involve any teary conversations. The Moms ran out of her anti-depressants and kind of broke down, which sent me on a first class vacation via Guilt Trip Express. The Jeffymobile will not make it all the way to L-town, so I couldn't make it home for any purpose, to comfort or otherwise. Kind of a sour twist to an otherwise forgettable day.

Monday marked the beginning of my last day at work and the second of my final exams. Though going into the office put me in a state of mind not exactly conducive to good test taking, I think I filled in roughly enough correct bubbles to ensure a "B." Katie took my mind off of my (un)employment woes by joining me for the evening. We sat in bed, ate ice cream and watched Say Anything. Establishing a mutual affection for John Cusack movies and each other is a pleasant way to spend an evening.

Thankfully, it cleared my head enough to realize I'm being a level five moron about finding a new job. It took me four days to realize that working in the staffing industry has set me up with enough contacts to never be without work again. I sent an e-mail to a friend within my company and asked if she had any available positions, part time or full time. Within thirty seconds, she sent an e-mail back with the text, "I have a part time position. YEAH! You can make up your own schedule."

Much humping or sending of flowers is in order to thank my friend.

While this is a good instant fix, it's a bit of a pay cut and a huge dip in hours. I could survive on it, but I'll probably have to find something else to supplement my income. Anyone know of any good corners to hook it?

Slightly deflated out of relief, I somehow managed to make it through the day. Once home, I put on my favorite sweatshirt, yanked the hood over my head and passively studied while I watched Gilmore Girls.

On Wednesday, I clocked another few hours at work before heading to campus, where I plowed through my last two finals. At approximately three o'clock, my Spring Break officially started. To celebrate, Katie and I went out for pizza. A few slices of pepperoni and an unsuccessful attempt to leave some Bon Jovi graffitti later, we cruised the town. I tried to get in contact with Mr. Bestfriendinthewholewideworld to see if I could borrow his car to make it to my job interview on Thursday, but didn't arrange to meet him until that evening. I introduced he and Katie, and, of course, he already knew her. I don't know how he does it, but he's been her a quarter the time I've been here and he knows about ten times as many people as I do. I guess that's what happens when you actually talk to people.

On Thursday, I put on the Professional Jeffy Costume and went to work for a few hours before taking a break to go on my interview. I waited in the lobby of the building for a good half hour before being greeted by a woman in a flourescent pink business suit. She walked me up the stairs and showed me into the room where she said I'd be interviewed. I walked in and was greeted by twenty people and told this was a panel interview. After I had already completely shit myself, everyone started laughing. While it was a joke, they all still grilled me. I worked for this company a while back, and I instantly had flashbacks to all the undereducated but nice folk I had as officemates. The people weren't bad, but they treat me like a curiosity because I occasionally use words that have more than two syllables.

After that debacle, I went into the actual interview, which just happened to be the worst interview of my life. I thought I had prepared myself well, but when I went in, they asked totally off the wall questions like "how would you organize my desk?" Thirty minutes of stammering and stuttering passed, and they asked if I'd be available through the Summer. I told them that I'd probably be looking for full time work, and instantly realized that I am, in fact, limber enough to screw myself in the ass. This is an ongoing position, and they aren't really looking for someone who will be gone in three months. She said, "that's admirable of you to tell us the truth," which I interpreted as, "you are an ignorant son of a bitch." She then excused me and asked me to fill out a personality quiz. As I waited, I had to keep the pounding of my head and chanting "stupid, stupid, stupid" discreet, as the people in the office might consider that "weird." Ten minutes later, she came out and said, "we've decided to hire you."

Wuh-huh?

So she showed me around and we set my schedule before I clicked my heels a la the Lucky Charms leprechaun and headed back to the office. It's impossible for me to focus on work at the office any longer, so I spent my time making up for all the personal calls I never made over the last nine months. My company can officially smoke it.

When I got home, I celebrated by removing my pants and tie and sitting in bed for a good long time. I thankfully fought off the urge to fall asleep so I could go out to Sacramento with Katie to watch NCAA basketball and meet her friends. Thankfully, it wasn't as awkward as I normally would have made it. They're interesting cats, they are.

My mood and my life in general have taken a complete 180 in the last seven days. It's wonderful to have things fall into place.

-- Jeffy